Help For Young Adults In Hawaii When They Fail To Launch
At The Crossroads is a premier Young Adult Transitional Living Program helping young adults from Hawaii, ages 18 to 25, experiencing a "failure to launch." The term failure to launch can be used to describe any young adult from Hawaii who is “stuck,” not “moving forward,” or not “maturing” in a way that seems appropriate to his/her age and expectations. If this is your adult son or daughter, we don't have to remind you how troublesome this situation can feel. Many parents describe feeling helpless and hopeless.
When it comes to young adults who have failed to separate from their home, namely from their parents emotional and financial support, there are clear reasons that must be identified before answers can be found. Especially when it's your bright and capable child that is failing to thrive, lacks any ambition and is failing to move forward into adulthood. Many “failure to launch” kids have returned home after being away to college.
However, most troubled young adults still living at home, have not attempted to leave the home because, quite frankly, they are unable to make it on their own. Sometimes, the young adult has made a half-hearted to move out, but in reality they had no real commitment to independence. But what are parents to do? Too often, the parents blame themselves, as they express feelings of being just as paralyzed as their young adult child. Again, we are here to help - make the call that may change everything for the better. Our counselors are ready to assist you by calling (866) 439-0354.
3 Myths Causing Your Child's Failure to Launch
Psychologist and Author, Michael S Broder, Ph.D., talks about the 3 Myths to Help You Address Your Child's "Failure to Launch." In his article posted on the Huffington Post.
Myth number one: "My child will outgrow it." Although many immature young adults eventually do "mature," Dr. Broder states, "many adults become stuck at lower developmental stages as they age chronologically. Some may still act like children or adolescents around the house and may not outgrow these behaviors naturally without specific strategies to get them back on track." In essence, Dr. Broder is stating that parents must have a plan, a strategy, and a way to move forward or, nothing is going to change. It is our opinion that the situation can even get worse. You need a solid plan.
Myth number two: "I'm helping my young adult child!" According to Dr. Broder, this belief is a fallacy. He writes, "Many parents don't understand that, in the long run, they're not helping their kids by making them too comfortable." Many feel sorry for their child, and know in their heart that they can't live on their own. Simultaneously, parents do not want to feel sad while watching their adult child struggle. So they rescue them to avoid feeling uncomfortable. The rescue mechanism, although it seems understandable, does not work - it often backfires and makes the situation worse. Dr. Broder claims, "At some point in the future, your child will have no choice but to learn to live without you. While you may know this intellectually, it can sometimes be difficult to foresee this and connect it to how they are presently functioning. Now is the time for your adult child to learn independence -- in gradual steps if necessary..."
Myth number three: "If I make them feel unwelcome, they will think I don't love them." Nothing could be further from the truth. What message are you sending your adult son or daughter when you are rescuing them (saving them from the struggle that comes with "making it on your own")? You are telling your adult child, "you don't have what it takes... you are unable... you are not capable... for this reason we have to save you!"
Tough love is what your adult child needs. But can you provide the tough love? Struggling young adults need to "struggle" and learn to make it on their own - it can be very painful, even too painful, for many parents to sit back and do nothing. Therefore, sometimes families need professional intervention. If you have come to the conclusion that as a family, you can't make a strategy work, then perhaps it is time to reach out to a specialized program to help both you and your child in the transition to adulthood. Before you choose a program, call At The Crossroads. We might be the wise choice for your child. If you are a parent of a struggling young adult living near Hawaii, we can help. Call (866) 439-0354.
Life Skills For Struggling Young Adults In Hawaii
ATC is located in St George, Utah, serving young people from around the country. ATC has developed a very powerful "failure to launch" program for young adults coming from the Hawaii area. Even though St George might seem far away, a relocation to Utah might be the perfect catalyst for your child to become entirely independent. Sometimes a major move is the first right step.
ATC helps both the parents and the adult child to find success. For more information about At The Crossroads, view our about us or call and speak to one of the admissions specialists or family advocates. It is their job to help families (especially the young adult), to find the pathway forward. ATC will provide you with coaching, guidance, and understanding. Call (866) 439-0354 and get answers today.
The "Failure to Launch" issue is, as a matter of fact, very common in today's economy and much more prominent in the emerging young generation Y (aka Millennials). The “Avoidant” behavior has become somewhat of an epidemic with the twenty-somethings from Hawaii. Although the national recession is much to blame for this all-too-common phenomena, “enabling parents can take some responsibility too,” Says Matt Bulkley, LCSW of therapyassociates.net. It is our humble opinion that At The Crossroads has developed a very successful program (plan and strategy) to help young adults emerge from the basement coach to live a powerful and productive life.
Specialized Programs for Young Adults In Hawaii
When young adults fail to launch successfully, they may be in need of intervention or help. “After dropping out of college, Jeff now stays at home and does very little that’s productive. He has no regular job or even a driver's license. He works a little, but, for the most part, spends his time at home lounging around.” If this story sounds all too familiar, then you may be in need of intervention and a transitional living program. Transitional living programs, like ATC, provide housing, skills training, and hands-on work experience so that the young adult resident can learn their place in this world. Also known as an “outward bound” program, At The Crossroads is an alternative to military schools and residential treatment centers. We want to help your loved one be successful.
Please feel free to contact ATC's admissions department for more information regarding enrollment, tuition, and academics at 866-439-0354. We have helped many troubled boys from Hawaii in the past.
* Michael Broder, Ph.D., Psychologist; Author, 'Stage Climbing: The Shortest Path to Your Highest Potential'. Follow Michael on Twitter - www.twitter.com/DrMichaelBroder.
Independent Living Program for Young Adults from Hawaii
Are you one of the millions of frustrated, exhausted parents from Hawaii whose adult child is still living at home? Like many in this situation, you might be feeling resentful that your adult child believes he or she is entitled to free meals, laundry service, and gas money. Especially, when they do little but sleep and party. By now you may be asking yourself, "Would a halfway home for young adults in St George be the solution?" The answer is, "Yes!" Living assistance services from At The Crossroads comes highly recommended by Educational Consultants, Therapists, and other behavioral health specialists. ATC's failure to launch programs have helped many individuals and families from Hawaii be successful.
Help For Young Adults in Hawaii
There are other issues that may be contributing to a "failure to launch." Have you ever asked yourself: Is my child clinically depressed? Gone untreated, depression will cut one’s drive and ambition. Does my loved one suffer from an untreated Attention Deficit Disorder? Remember, the long-term effects of untreated ADD include poor academic performance, lack of social development, and the inability to obtain or hold a job. Also, do you know whether or not your child may be experiencing "avoidance" as a defense mechanism to stress? You should be aware that defense mechanisms are the primary issue confronting the Failure to Launch patient. Obviously, if your young adult child is abusing drugs or alcohol, this should be remedied as soon as possible.
Remember that we here at ATC understand that any of these "stuck" young adults are quite lovable. We want you to remember this too. And yet, in a very fundamental way, they aren’t men or women yet. They often bring out maternal or paternal feelings from those around them, and this "softness" has been undermining their success to a degree. Just know that sympathy will not help an "avoider."
National Resources for Parents:
National Association of Therapeutic Schools and Programs - NATSAP integrates a blend of programs and schools offering therapy to thousands of people across the nation. Their members mix therapeutic schools, wilderness programs, residential treatment schools, young adult programs, outdoor therapeutic programs, and home-based residential programs. These work together to help troubled teens and their families.
National Institute on Drug Abuse (NIDA) - The Science of Drug Abuse and Addiction, NIDA's mission is to lead the Nation in bringing the potential of science to help combat drug abuse and addiction.
Resources for Parents in Hawaii:
State of Hawaii Department of Health (Behavioral Health Services) - The Department of Health improves both mental health and wellness through the strength and integrity of local families and communities. SHDH maintains their mission to not only protect, but to improve the health, well-being, and environment for all people in Hawaii.
Mental Health America of Hawaii (MHA-HI) - The MHA of Hawaii mission is to not only improve mental wellness, but also to prevent mental disorders and co-occurring illnesses. MHA of Hawaii knows that by reducing the typical stigma linked with mental illness, families and individuals can have greater possibilities for success. This is accomplished by developing the overall care and promoting effective therapy for children, adults, and elders with mental illnesses.
When Young Adults From Hawaii Fail To Launch Successfully
Here At The Crossroads, we recognize that one circumstance doesn't apply to all families. Because of this, we are committed to the supervision of each child's requirements, and we do this with precision and care. You can reach us immediately at (866) 439-0354.
Important facts that parents should know..
Remember that all relationships take work. If we weren’t biologically programmed to love our infants the human race would have died out long ago, but as kids get older we need to build on that natural bond. Luckily, children automatically love their parents. As long as we don't mess it up, we can keep the connection strong.
Decide rules and discipline in advance. It is important for parents to have their own discussion, coming to some kind of agreement, so they are on the same page in advance. Whether you ban them from driving for a week or a month, whether you ground them for a week, cut back on their allowance or Internet use. But, always follow through with the consequences.